Mirroring is the art of matching or reflecting the actions of another. It may sound strange, but the most charismatic people are masters at this. Have you ever seen two people engrossed in a conversation, both of them hunched over, seemingly leaned in to better receive the message? Or have you ever observed that when one person decides to cross their arms in a conversation, the other soon follows suit? This kind of mimicking is instinctive and establishes a neutral ground. It emphasizes the receiving and embracing of another person’s story. It’s a wonderful tool for all aspects of human life, but work-wise, mirroring can be a godsend.
As a society, we have forgotten how to listen yet we thrive on communication. For the development of business relationships, mirroring can be a vital technique and can be beneficial for establishing a rapport with your coworkers or clients as it works to break the ice or ease any tensions. Through the act of mirroring, we learn to listen on a deeper level. We are building a relationship in a powerful, yet subtle, way because it’s natural to feel connected to someone whom we have things in common with. Mirroring subtly gives off the impression that a kinship has been sparked.
Now everything needs to be done in moderation. Obviously, mimicking can have a negative impact if done in excess. Noone wants to be parroted or copied, and alarms tend to go off once you find yourself thinking the person you’re speaking with is inauthentic. Be real. Be unique and thoughtful while using the mirroring technique as subtly and naturally as possible. This is not to be manipulative, the purpose of mirroring is truly to open yourself up to being receptive and creating a common ground, as well as offering others an opportunity to see you differently.
While we instinctively mirror others, there are a lot of learned tactics that can be added to make this even more beneficial. Pick up on nonverbal cues, listen and observe the way others communicate, possibly mirror their language pattern. Meaning, if they are slow and deliberate with their wording, try to meet them closer to their level. Bombarding them with fast, animated talking will be unnerving. Also mirror in terms of tone, gauge when to be more casual and when to be more professional, when to be more conservative and when to be more social. Some people will take it so far as to pattern their breathing after another just to keep things in rhythm. But mainly, be cognizant of how others react to you when you start mirroring. Notice how fast they seem to relax once you’ve put these techniques in motion. Soon, even the learned tactics will become second nature.
Practice makes perfect.